Should I get some 'happy pills' or muddle through?

[hypnotherapee]

Hi all, hope everyone is well.  Haven't been around for a while due to all sorts of problems.

Currently feeling very low.  Have had 3 deaths in the family within 7 weeks, with all the fallout that comes with it.  I feel like a professional funeral goer and arranger.  MIL was one of the people who passed away in a Nursing Home, and we had several weeks of 'she's not got long to go now' but carry on she did, for weeks longer than expected.  It was agonising.

After the final funeral last week, I felt that those were our 'things that come in threes' done and dusted.  But it's not to be.  Just when I feel I can get some sense or normality back,  it appears that my son and his wife are separating.  They have a one year old daughter, the light of my life, and feel as sick as a pig and in tears all the time. 

Do I muddle through, or should I seek help?  Hubbie is being a star, but I just cant stop crying at the moment.  Sorry to be sick in everyone's bucket.  Not sure what to do.................................

[ilove2patch]

Get yourself to the doctor & tell him what you have told us. You have been through a hell of a lot & it's not surprising you feel like you do. Hoping you feel more able to cope with it all soon.

[****merlin*****]

hey Hypno

sorry to hear things have been rough

no shame in asking for a little help when its needed

i second getting yourself to the docs

help comes in many shapes and forms

not always pill form

they may have other suggestions, 

i hope you find some inner peace soon

[cookiecookuk]

i think also that you should go to doctors as you will struggle to cope without.

we had simalar last year 3 deaths in as many weeks.

i also work in a nursing home and we have had residents that the doctors says will only be with us a little longer so we call relatives and it is surprising how long they can last but it is awful to watch the family suffer waiting and in away wshing it was over so their relatives are out of pain and no more suffering.

hope you feel better soon.

[susiejjj]

I think you should go to the doctors.  You could benefit from bereavement counselling. The doc may offer it anyway but if s/he doesn't, you can ask about it.

[chickengrandma-2008]

I agree with the rest, that's just too much for anyone to cope with.  I'm sure time will help but in the meantime you need something to see you through.  So sorry for you.XX.

[**towery**]

i agree  with the others,  a bit of medical  help over the next few weeks

you need to speak to your son and daughter in law  to get then to see that

you need to maintain contact with your grand daughter at this  sad  time in your life, the lives of the young give hope after so many deaths

[merc1_clocks]

 hypno...speaking from experience - go for help ( even if it's pills )

I left it too long, & the result for me was horrific.

Please, please, ask for help - just tell the Dr. what you have gone through, & how you feel.

Don't play it down...it's too important.

[bitsnknots]

Sorry to hear about all of your problems Hypno.  I also agree with what has been said.  You must go to the doctor for help.  

[duck_a_lorange]

---

@**towery** wrote:

i agree  with the others,  a bit of medical  help over the next few weeks

you need to speak to your son and daughter in law  to get then to see that

you need to maintain contact with your grand daughter at this  sad  time in your life, the lives of the young give hope after so many deaths

---

Everything Towery says.

I think you would probably be in exactly the same state without the three deaths in the family - mourning the potential loss of a grandchild trumps everything else. 

[captainbovine]

you need to have some help that the doctor can give. It is too much to handle on your own.

I too left it too late, until I was very ill for a short time, it was because of a mixture of my situation and new meds I'd started. I was given happy pills and I feel so much better on them.

I don't have a problem admitting I take an anti depressant, if it makes me feel better so be it.

I am sorry for your losses, you can always come on here to chat to us too. xxx

[mygreyangel]

Ask for help, don't try to struggle through (((Hypno)))

[soppysofty]

If you are a bit concerned about the doc please call CRUSE - http://www.cruse.org.uk/

They are the bereavement specialists (what a title) and can give you a lot of help, both practical and emotional.

Also, if any of the deaths where due to cancer, please call Macmillan on 0808 808 0000.

Hope these numbers help.

[duck_a_lorange]

---

@soppysofty wrote:

If you are a bit concerned about the doc please call CRUSE - http://www.cruse.org.uk/

They are the bereavement specialists (what a title) and can give you a lot of help, both practical and emotional.

Also, if any of the deaths where due to cancer, please call Macmillan on 0808 808 0000.

Hope these numbers help.

---

"cruse", not cruise.

http://www.oxfordcruse.co.uk/Aboutus.aspx

The name CRUSE came from a story in the Bible about a widow and her ‘cruse’, or jar of oil which never ran out - thus signifying that support would be given for as long as it was needed.  However, it must be stressed that despite the derivation of the name, Cruse is a non-religious organisation and welcomes people of all beliefs and none.

[rose2008-2008]

I will echo what others have said,,, go along and have a chat with the doctor. you do not have to take pills that will zonk you out ,there are mild forms that will just help you. You need to talk, talk talk to someone even if you prefer someone who is not so close to you. Bless you.. Hard times are difficult to bear and you feel you will never get though but you will. Especially when awful events just seem to follow on one another!!!!!!!!!!!.

((()))  

[*elphaba*]

Hypno,  would you try to 'muddle through' rather than get treatment for, say, thyroid problems?    No, I bet not.

The kind of blows you have been struck with have the physiological action of punching your happy hormones to the floor - why on earth not accept help to feel better!   Talking therapies tend to have long waiting lists and no GP worth their salt would want to leave someone suffering needlessly so you will almost certainly be offered anti-depressants.  As someone who has had need of them several times (and gone through most of the available SSRI's at one time or another)  I urge you not to be afraid of them.    If you had pneumonia you would take antibiotics however reluctantly.   If your neurochemicals have crashed to a massive degree you may well need chemical assistance to get them back up.  Don't sweat it, but equally don't have an unrealistic view of what they can do.  Happy pills are something of a misnomer I'm afraid. 

There is a difference between grief and depression, but you have suffered multiple bereavements in a short time period with no chance to recover any kind of equilibrium before being hit with a different kind of worry.   Its not really any surprise that you now have symptoms of acute depression eh. 

Please see your GP, Hypno,  ASAP  xx    Wishing you relief from that horrible, hopeless feeling very soon  

[hypnotherapee]

Hi everyone. Thanks for all your kind words and support, they are much appreciated.

When hubbie came home last night, I howled in his arms and had a good old sob. Was a blubbering wreck but strangely felt a lot better. Today I have felt brighter, and I woke up,feeling more positive. I also had a long chat with my daughter, who managed to put a perspective on things that I found extremely reassuring. She's two years younger than her brother, and she has a great head on her shoulders. Bless her, she does know me and my son so well.

Suffice to say, I shall keep a close eye on myself and at the first sign of anything untoward I will be up to see the GP.

Thanks again everyone, you really are a lovely lot xxxxxxxxxxxx

[bitsnknots]

Glad that you are feeling better Hypno.  We might be a mad lot on here but if anyone has a problem, we are all here to help.

[vamo48]

Pleased to hear that, Hypno.  Reading through this thread I'd been going to say that what you need most is to talk to someone and have a good cry!  Please remember that what you are feeling is completely normal considering what you have gone through.  After three bereavements in quick succession you can't just expect to bounce back.  Hope you continue feeling better, and talk about it when you need to.

[captainbovine]

oh I'm glad you are feeling a bit better, just remember the doc is always there should you slip back.

and we are here if you need us, bonkers we may be but we stick like glue