News just in. (For those interested).

After an extensive search of the local records, we can now confirm that Cheryl Ann Fernandez-Versini Tweedy-Cole was in fact the love child of Bobby and Phillis Thompson. She wasn't born in 1983 as records suggest, but in 1938, and owes her appearance to many nips, tucks, Botox needles, and also to several layers of L'Oreal No.8 Pan Stick.

We would also like to wish Mister McB, Many Happy (belated) Returns on his coming of age. He is now permitted to post on here legally.