Hey Ebay is sick! 

My total slay question is, where to I purch the merch?  As I have "murch" merch to purch!!

Can you tell me why ebay deem it necessary to dumb down the English language in the written format with adverts like the above? Firstly that sentence makes no sense, it is not gramatically correct. Why do ebay insist on using these etymons and slang? How is that going to help educate the younger generations with reading and writing skills when this sort of thing appears? Surely it can't take much to add the correct additional syllables to the words?