'when I asked which courier he was using "eBay chooses the courier not me mate" , it was EVRI! '

"refund is down to eBay mate NOT me, contact eBay". 

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Well, your seller may have been a bit rude and unpleasant (and even up to something-or-other if he got a policy violation suspension!) but he wasn't lying in this instance,

Under Simple Delivery, unless a seller actively de-selects Evri, then ebay do more-or-less choose the courier.

If the buyer picks 'standard' delivery it will (95% of the time) be Evri. If the buyer picks 'express' delivery it will usually be R.M 24.

( the few % of the time when 'standard' is R.M will probably be when the buyer is in the bits of Britain that are 'Highlands and Islands' and Evri won't deliver there because it's not profitable enough.)

And under S.D. if the parcel is dispatched but not delivered, ebay  do give the refund, not the seller. This is because ebay, having chosen the courier, are the courier's customer. Therefore they are the only ones with a delivery *contract*, so they are the only ones who can get a refund/give a refund....

'Arriving damaged in the post' under S.D. is also supposed to be covered by ebay  (for the same delivery contract reasons) but is a bit more involved as it includes packaging which is not under the control of ebay *or* the courier.

(Personally I loath the idea of S.D. but I know there's nothing I can do about it.☹️)