I am surrounded by empty crisp packets. There are mountainous ashtrays littering the desk. I have not shaved since Tuesday and my string vest is a rather rancid shade of grey. I promise that I will, at last, put some trousers on when I find a minute between searching the vaults of ebay for obscure references to "china" and "relaxation". Today I perused 328 items of vitreous enamel as that seemed to be a good connection? Mind you, I have forgotten what they are used for. Isn't life wonderful? Now leave me alone. My eyes are closing and I need to prop them open with something stronger than matchsticks and parcel tape.