Finally,The Answer To "What's Brown And Steaming,And Comes Out Of Cows?"by Isla Whiteferry.

I didn't realise i missed the musings of my Surrey chum so much.I will try and post a little more regularly.

Story 1; The wife and daughter had arrived safely in Majorca (i don't fly) and my son was in his final weeks at Uni before the summer break. I am alone at home and wondering what to do with myself. "I know,i'll finish off the bottle of Single Malt i had for Christmas and spend a couple of hours on Ebay"

Skip forward 1 week.I I am sitting with the bride listening to her holiday stories when my phone tells me a message has arrived.

"Congratulations.15 minutes to go and you are the top bidder on a Vauxhall Tigra 2 seater sports car"

WHAAAAAT??? How the hell did that happen? There followed 15 minutes of panic,trying to retract bids and screaming,until "Congratulations ! You are the proud owner of a car i don't remember bidding on.

Long story short,,,picked the car up 2 days later (exactly 1 week after purchasing a Renault Scenic legitimately.We have decided to tax it for a year and enjoy the roof down and the wind running through my bald head.Both of us have difficulty getting into it,but not as much trouble as trying to get out !!.Wife doesn't drive or neither of the kids yet,so i am the only driver.

A cautionary tale with a moral,,,,Ebay and malt whisky..A heady combination !