G4S: A Company That Really Couldn't Organise A P*ss Up In A Brewery By C Curitygard

....but they will take your money for trying to!.....

Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me for the path is narrow. In fact, just pee off and leave me alone...

Sex is like air. It's not important unless you aren't getting any.

No-one is listening until you break wind.

Always remember, you are unique. Just like everyone else.

Never test the depth of water with both feet.