An eighteen-year-old girl walks into a bar and rips off her clothes and asks: "Is there anyone here man enough to make a woman of me?" A man stands up, removes his shirt and says:"Here, iron this!" 😮 :^O

:^O

..and another pub joke!

A man is sitting in the pub when he hears a bowl of peanuts on the bar saying "Oooh, you really are amazing. Oooh, you are lovely."

Then the fruit machine shouted "Rubbish, look at the state of that haircut. And those socks don't go with those shoes."

The barman apologised. "I'm sorry," he said, "

The nuts are complimentary but the fruit machine is out of order."

:^O

🙂 I carry my Redbush tea bags wherever I go Hummphh - I shall be drinking at The Rock Pool later  - now there's a Class establishment. :^O Bye now, see you when I have recovered from such slander 😛

Hope you soon recover, Suzie :-x

If not, I will return temporarliy to my Doc status to assist your recovery. 😄

Charlie darling :-x I will have to leave shortly for dinner. I have messaged you...:-)

OK Bill :-x

See you later!

..and another pub joke! A man is sitting in the pub when he hears a bowl of peanuts on the bar saying "Oooh, you really are amazing. Oooh, you are lovely." Then the fruit machine shouted "Rubbish, look at the state of that haircut. And those socks don't go with those shoes." The barman apologised. "I'm sorry," he said, " The nuts are complimentary but the fruit machine is out of order." :^O

Hey Charlie 😮

I'd got that one lined up to post next! :^O

Am now jokeless :_|

:^O

Hey Charlie 😮 I'd got that one lined up to post next! :^O Am now jokeless :_| :^O

:^O

There is a God!

:^O There is a God!

:^O:^O:^O

Well you'd better make good use of him then 'cos you are going to need all the help you can get! :^O

*Goes to get Frankie Boyle's DVD*

:^O

OOOH! "Hi! Bill, may I have a pint of guinness please"?:-D

Sorry Jimbo ~ I was accidentally trapped in the cellar 😮

:^O

Hello Bill, Hello Charlie..sorry, had to rush away earlier. Just had time to down my Cinzano and run. A nice cuppa would be lovely, soya milk like Mandy and one sugar please. You wouldn't have a tart to go with that would you?? I is hungry...

By the way, those two plants outside the front door look like Mother in law's tongues. Be careful on the way out.....they is sharp, someone with a little difficulty staying upright could do themselves some nasty damage!:O

Hu Astro ~ sorry about the delay. First day teething problems I'm afraid. 😄

Here's your nice cuppa with soya milk...

What sort of tart would you like...? 😮 😄

Its invisible smoke.

You wont smell it.  You on taste it. Its invisible;(

You wont taste it.

Two pints of Harp please..

The Government have hinted that there could be another bank holiday in the wake of Bin Laden's death.

All together now....

"We're all going on Osama holiday..." 🙂

I'll drink to that...:-D

Nips in for a quick one...:-)

Nips orf >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Keep an eye out harry ....I'm going to nip over the counter and 'borrow' a brandy ]:)