Tommy was getting on a bit and the kids had moved to America. Christmas was coming and neither of the kids came home to Kerry for Christmas like they used to. Now Tommy was a crafty old rascal and he called his son in New York right before Christmas and says,

"Son, I 'm sorry, but I have to tell you that after 45 years of misery, your mother and I are busting up. "

"Da, what are you talking about?" the son yells in disbelief.

"We can't stand the sight of each other any longer," Tommy says says. "We're sick of each other, and I'm sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in Chicago and tell her."

Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone. "No way they're leaving each other!" she shouts, "I'll take care of this."

She calls Kerry immediately and screams at her father, "You are not splitting up. Don't do a single thing until I get there. I'm calling my brother back, and we'll both be there tomorrow. Until then, don't do a thing, DO YOU HEAR ME?" and hangs up.

Old Tommy hangs up his phone and turns to Irene. "Well then," he says, "they're coming home for Christmas and they're paying their own way this time!"