A man was suffering with premature ejaculation so he went to see his doctor about the problem.  The doctor told him "When you feel as though you are about to ejaculate, try startling yourself."

After the consultation the man went and bought himself a handgun and returned home to his wife.  That evening the two of them were having sex and found themselves in the 69 position.  The husband suddenly felt as though he was going to ejaculate, so he pulled out the handgun and fired it.

The following day the man went back to his doctor, who asked him how things had gone.  "Not well, doc" replied the man.  "When I fired the handgun I'd bought my wife shat on my face, bit 3" off of my pe*bleep**is and my next-door neighbour jumped out of the wardrobe with his hands in the air!"