A man goes into a Chinese restaurant and orders a meal.  The waitress brings him a plate of noodles as a starter whilst the main is being prepared, but within less than a minute the customer looks up and calls out to the waitress "Oi!  Do you seriously expect me to eat this stuff?"

The waitress comes back again and says  "Is there a problem, sir?"

"Too bloody right there is!" snaps the customer.  "What the hell is this hair doing in my noodles?"  And with that he pulls out a long, black hair.

"I'm very sorry, sir." says the waitress.  "Please allow me to bring you a new dish to replace that one."

"No, you can stuff it." replies the customer.  "And if you think you're going to get paid for anything I ordered here, then you can think again!"

And with that the customer storms out of the restaurant, followed by the waitress, who is eager to try to get him to pay up.  Just as the waitress gets to the front door she sees the customer disappearing into a buliding on the opposite side of the street, which is well known as a brothel.  She quickly hurries across the road, gets to the front door of the brothel and slips behind the madam without being seen, just in time to see the man close the door to one of the rooms on the first floor.  The waitress stalks up the stairs carefully so that she doesn't get caught and slung out of the building.  When she gets to the top of the stairs she heads for the room that the customer disappeared into and flings open the door, only to find the customer face down in the w**bleep**'s muff.

"You bloody ar**bleep**le!"  she shriekes at the customer.  "You went and made a big commotion in my restaurant because there was a hair in your noodles, and now look at you!"

And with that the customer looks up from what he's been doing, looks the waitress straight in the eye, and replies firmly, "Yes, I know, and if I fiind a noodle down here then this young lady won't be getting paid either!"