A young Irish girl with a lisp goes into her priest, Father Tommy on Saturday morning for confession.

"Father, forgive me for I have Thinned."

"You've Thinnned?"

"Yes, I went out with me boyfriend Friday night. He held me hand twice, kissed me three times, and made love to me two times."

"Daughter! I want you to go straight home, squeeze seven lemons into a glass, and drink it straight down."

"Will that wash away me Thin?"

"No, but it will wipe that stupid grin off your face."