My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion,
and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table.

My wife asked, "Do you know her?"

"Yes," I sighed,"she’s my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we
split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since."

"My God!" says my wife, "who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?'

And then the fight started...

---------------------------------------------------
I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason took my order first.

"I'll have the steak, medium rare, please."

He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?"

"Nah, she can order for "herself."

And then the fight started...

----------------------------------------------------

A woman was standing nude,looking in the bedroom mirror. She was not happy with what she saw
and said to her husband, "I feel horrible, I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment."

The husband replied, "Your eyesight's damn near perfect."

And then the fight started...