Tommy was a country lad and had never been to Dublin city before and was awstruck looking round the huge department store. He asked a security man how he'd find his way around and was told there were notices everywhere and he was to just do what they said.

 All too soon, he returned, slightly dejected, to the security man.

'Look,' said Tommy, 'I've tried my best. The door marked 'Push' I pushed. The door marked 'Pull' I pulled. But when I got to the big door that said 'Lift', I couldn't get it off the floor!'