Two posh English women were discussing their holiday plans in a London cafe and Tommy was at the next table.

"We're planning a lovely holiday in Devon this year," said one.

"Oh you oughtn't to do that," said the other, "there are Irish there! It would be awful."

"Dear me!" said the first lady. "Well where are you going?"

"Salisbury," she replied.

"But Salisbury is simply crawling with Irish!" the first objected.

At this point Tommy could no longer hold his tongue. "Why don't ye go t' hell," he suggested. "There'll be no Irish there!"