Tommy was getting on in years and had owned a fruit farm in Armagh for many years. He had a large pond in the back, fixed up nice - picnic tables, tennis courts, and lots of fruit  trees. The pond was properly shaped and fixed up for swimming when it was built. One evening old Tommy decided to go down to the pond, as he hadn't been there for a while.

He grabbed a five gallon bucket to bring back some fruit. When he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee. As he came closer he saw it was a bunch of young ladies skinny-dipping in his pond. He made them aware of his presence and they all went to the deep end.

One of the ladies shouted to him, "We're not coming out until you leave!"

Old Tommy frowned, "I didn't come down here to watch you ladies swim naked or make you get out of the pond." Holding the bucket up he said, "I'm here to feed my pet alligator."

Moral: Old men can still think fast.