I have been requested by the Landlord - on his behalf - to lock the bar. He is afraid there may be some pilfering whilst he is away *glances at Harriet* of his expensive plastic wine glasses Waterford crystal glasses, his Tupperware tableware Royal Crown Derby dinner and tea service, and his paper napkins Irish linen napery.

                                                 Sorry for the inconvenience.

                                                             (He isn't actually).