Some of us have never gone away - we just use a different face.  We are on our best behaviour because the boards are more restrictive than they used to be.

As for bun fights, blobby couldn't fight his way out of a paper bag but nobody seemed to mind;  in general though, you needed to be thick-skinned and quick-witted to survive on the boards.

To survive the boards and then find yourself coping with a life-limiting situation - that's more than lousy and I'm really sorry to hear about it.