You don't need to quote the twelve steps to me Petal, I went down that road over 12 years ago. I managed to stop drinking but I didn't follow the program to the letter, I struggled from Step 3 onwards. I haven't had a relationship with God since I was a child, I'm not a Christian, if anything I consider myself a secular humanist. But I will say that those who have such a relationship do seem to make a better fist of it than I did. Like I said it's not for everyone.