I was playing frisby in the garden with my son when he shouted "catch it!" I laughed "Don't worry son I am good at this" "No ," he said. "You have just stepped in some" A father and son are out fishing. The boy says, 'Dad, how do boats float?" "I don't know," replies Dad. The boy then asks, "How do fish breathe?" "I don't know," Dad replies. The boy asks, "Why is the sky blue?" "I don't know," replies Dad. "I hope you don't mind me asking you all these questions," says the boy. "Of course not," replies Dad. "If you don't ask me questions how will you ever learn anything?" My dwarf girlfriend went to work this morning upset with me, because I've been taking the **bleep** out of her size. So I'm going all out to make it up to her tonight. I've got a good bottle of wine in the fridge and bought her the latest dvd box set of her favourite programme. When she gets in from work I'm going to order her favourite takeaway for her tea, then go upstairs and run her a nice hot sink.