I was at a charity auction when I noticed they were selling raffle tickets, so I went up and checked out the prizes. Most of it was the usual mix of kitchen appliances and cheap holidays, but the first prize, I saw, was an entire shopping centre. So I bought a whole bunch of tickets to increase my chances, and hey, it's charity. 
After a while they get everyone to sit down and start drawing the tickets. 
"And fifth prize, the steak knives, goes to... number 76!" 
I looked down... I had that ticket! 
"Fourth prize, the lovely stereo, goes to... number 59!" 
Mine again! Odd luck, certainly. 
And the next one was mine again! And even the second prize! 
I was almost in need of a new pair of pants by this stage. Steak knives, a stereo, a caravan and a week-long trip to Fiji were all mine. All that remained was the shopping centre. 
"And the final, big first prize, an entire shopping centre goes to... number 18!" 
Damn it! Not my ticket! 
I looked around to see if anyone had called out to claim the prize, but nobody was moving. 
"Does nobody have that ticket?" 
No sound. No movement. 
"Well, we'll have to forfeit that prize. I guess it's like they say," said the announcer, "You can't win a mall."

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You're going to hate me for this, lol

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"You can't win a mall."