I auditioned for Britain's got talent when it visited Newcastle. But, shockingly, I was turned down.
That's right, my signature 'balancing a mars bar on my head for ten minutes' failed to impress Simon Cowell.
He said, "sorry, but Osama Bin Laden's had a bounty on his head for ten years"
......................................................................................................................................................................................................... .................Im a 76 year old Nutcase.. TOMMY LOVES YOU ALL. .. I'm a committed atheist.
