___________________________________________________________________________ A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
mmmmm jacket potato with bacon and brie for me
*jangling keys to cells in anticipation of influx of prisoners!*
Guards - plenty more spuds in guardroom oven, fillings and butter too. Cocoa, hot chocolate, coffee, tea all available too.
* now munching buttery/cheesy spud while jangling keys!*___________________________________________________________________________
Guards - plenty more spuds in guardroom oven, fillings and butter too. Cocoa, hot chocolate, coffee, tea all available too.
* now munching buttery/cheesy spud while jangling keys!*
___________________________________________________________________________ A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
Cinder toffee anyone?
___________________________________________________________________________ A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
Certainly, it will be served in your cell, second basement level, third cell on the left.
___________________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________________ A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
I missed a feast
and it's still my last word
have been too busy doing the kids christmas lists to post much! Am wishing I was 7 again - toys are so much better than when I was!
A bus carrying only ugly people crashes into an oncoming truck, and everyone inside dies. As they stand at the Pearly Gates waiting to enter Paradise and meet their maker, God decides to grant each person one wish because of the grief they have experienced.
They're all lined up, and God asks the first one what the wish is. 'I want
to be gorgeous,' and so God snaps His fingers, and it is done.
The second one in line hears this and says 'I want to be gorgeous too'
Another snap of His fingers and the wish is granted.
This goes on for a while with each one asking to be gorgeous, but when God is halfway down the line, the last guy in the line starts laughing.
When there are only ten people left, this guy is rolling on the floor,
laughing his head off.
Finally, God reaches this last guy and asks him what his wish will be. The
guy eventually calms down and says:
'Make 'em all ugly again.'
LMAO
and the last word is mineyio, stuffs V1ntage back in the Zone in the crinklies cupboard
They're all lined up, and God asks the first one what the wish is. 'I want
to be gorgeous,' and so God snaps His fingers, and it is done.
The second one in line hears this and says 'I want to be gorgeous too'
Another snap of His fingers and the wish is granted.
This goes on for a while with each one asking to be gorgeous, but when God is halfway down the line, the last guy in the line starts laughing.
When there are only ten people left, this guy is rolling on the floor,
laughing his head off.
Finally, God reaches this last guy and asks him what his wish will be. The
guy eventually calms down and says:
'Make 'em all ugly again.'
LMAO
and the last word is mineyio, stuffs V1ntage back in the Zone in the crinklies cupboard
No, the last word is always mine!!
___________________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________________ A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
s`my turn :)
stuffs V1ntage back in the Zone in the crinklies cupboard
:O
runs off with last word on crinkled old legs
:O
runs off with last word on crinkled old legs
Trips Vintage, catches the last word as it flies out of her hands and runs off saying"Me, Me, Me!"
*clothes lines Cazza, grabbing the last word....and runs! Throws the last word on the floor for a touchdown, and celebrates dancing!*
*forgets about the last word* .
.
*forgets about the last word* .
.
Picks self up off floor muttering about ungentlemanly behaviour and goes off in search of a coffee!:^O
*looks up "ungentlemanly" in dictionary....:O....*
Cazza, am so sorry! I have well and truly seen the error of my ways now!
*spots a puddle, takes off jacket, lays it across puddle for Cazza*
:-x
*Ambushes Cazza with another clothes line, but in a gentlemanly way with a coat over a puddle*
:^O .
.
Cazza, am so sorry! I have well and truly seen the error of my ways now!
*spots a puddle, takes off jacket, lays it across puddle for Cazza*
:-x
*Ambushes Cazza with another clothes line, but in a gentlemanly way with a coat over a puddle*
:^O .
.
crippsy u flirterer
tis my last word anyway
tis my last word anyway
flirterer, huh?
*taps the boss dodger on the left shoulder, quickly moves to the right shoulder and pinches the last word!*
*runs off wildly* hahahahahahhahahaha!!! .
.
*taps the boss dodger on the left shoulder, quickly moves to the right shoulder and pinches the last word!*
*runs off wildly* hahahahahahhahahaha!!! .
.
I'll give u somfing to ha at
These are genuine clips from Council tenants complaining to the Council about problems with their abodes.
1. My bush is really overgrown round the front and my back passage has fungus growing in it.
2. He's got this huge tool that vibrates the whole house and I just can't take it anymore.
3. It's the dog's mess that I find hard to swallow.
4. I want to complain about the farmer across the road; every morning at 6am his **** wakes me up and it's now getting too much for me.
5. I am a single woman living in a downstairs flat and would you please do something about the noise made by the man on top of me every night.
6. And their 18-year-old son is continually banging his balls against my fence.
7. Please send a man with the right tool to finish the job and satisfy my wife.
8. My lavatory seat is cracked, where do I stand?
9.I am writing on behalf of my sink, which is coming away from the wall.
10. Will you please send someone to mend the garden path? My wife tripped and fell on it yesterday and now she is pregnant.
11. I request permission to remove my drawers in the kitchen.
12. 50% of the walls are damp, 50% have crumbling plaster and 50% are plain filthy.
13. I am still having problems with smoke in my new drawers.
14. The toilet is blocked and we cannot bath the children until it is cleared.
15. Will you please send a man to look at my water, it is a funny colour & not fit to drink.
16. I want some repairs done to my cooker as it has backfired and burnt my knob off.
17. The man next door has a large erection in the back garden, which is unsightly and dangerous.
18. Our kitchen floor is damp. We have two children and would like a third so please send someone round to do something about it.
19. I wish to complain that my father hurt his ankle very badly when he put his foot in the hole in his back passage.
20. I wish to report that tiles are missing from the outside toilet roof. I think it was bad wind the other night that blew them off.
my last word
These are genuine clips from Council tenants complaining to the Council about problems with their abodes.
1. My bush is really overgrown round the front and my back passage has fungus growing in it.
2. He's got this huge tool that vibrates the whole house and I just can't take it anymore.
3. It's the dog's mess that I find hard to swallow.
4. I want to complain about the farmer across the road; every morning at 6am his **** wakes me up and it's now getting too much for me.
5. I am a single woman living in a downstairs flat and would you please do something about the noise made by the man on top of me every night.
6. And their 18-year-old son is continually banging his balls against my fence.
7. Please send a man with the right tool to finish the job and satisfy my wife.
8. My lavatory seat is cracked, where do I stand?
9.I am writing on behalf of my sink, which is coming away from the wall.
10. Will you please send someone to mend the garden path? My wife tripped and fell on it yesterday and now she is pregnant.
11. I request permission to remove my drawers in the kitchen.
12. 50% of the walls are damp, 50% have crumbling plaster and 50% are plain filthy.
13. I am still having problems with smoke in my new drawers.
14. The toilet is blocked and we cannot bath the children until it is cleared.
15. Will you please send a man to look at my water, it is a funny colour & not fit to drink.
16. I want some repairs done to my cooker as it has backfired and burnt my knob off.
17. The man next door has a large erection in the back garden, which is unsightly and dangerous.
18. Our kitchen floor is damp. We have two children and would like a third so please send someone round to do something about it.
19. I wish to complain that my father hurt his ankle very badly when he put his foot in the hole in his back passage.
20. I wish to report that tiles are missing from the outside toilet roof. I think it was bad wind the other night that blew them off.
my last word
