The Friday Laugh by Joe K Sareus
> The SAS, the Parachute Regiment and the Police decide to go on a
> survival weekend together to see who comes out on top. After some
> basic exercises the trainer tells them that their next objective is to
> go down into the woods and catch a rabbit, returning with it ready to
> skin and cook.
>
>
> Night falls.
>
>
> First up - the SAS. They don infrared goggles, drop to the ground and
> crawl into the woods in formation. Absolute silence for 5 minutes,
> followed by the unmistakable muffled "phut-phut" of their trademark
> silenced "double-tap". They emerge with a large rabbit shot cleanly
> between the eyes.
>
>
> "Excellent!" remarks the trainer.
>
>
> Next up - the Para 's. They finish their cans of lager, smear
> themselves with camouflage cream, fix bayonets and charge down into
> the woods, screaming at the top of their lungs. For the next hour the
> woods ring with the sound of rifle and machine-gun fire, hand
> grenades, mortar bombs and blood curdling war cries. Eventually they
> emerge, carrying the charred remains of a rabbit.
>
>
> "A bit messy, but you achieved the aim; well done", says the trainer.
>
>
> Lastly, in go the coppers, walking slowly, hands behind backs
> whistling Dixon of Dock Green. For the next few hours, the silence is
> only broken by the occasional crackle of a walkie-talkie "Sierra Lima
> Whisky Tango Fanta One, suspect headed straight for you..." etc. After
> what seems an eternity, they emerge escorting a squirrel in handcuffs.
>
>
> "What the hell do you think you are doing?" asks the incredulous
> trainer, "Take this squirrel back and get me a rabbit like I asked you
> five hours ago!".
>
>
> So back they go. Minutes pass. Minutes turn to hours, night drags on
> and turns to day. The next morning, the trainer and the other teams
> are awakened by the police, holding the handcuffed squirrel, now
> covered in bruises, one eye nearly shut.
>
> "Are you taking the p*ss!!??" asks the now seriously irate trainer.
>
>
> The police team leader nudges the squirrel, who squeaks: "Alright,
> alright, I'm a f***in' rabbit!"
Retired Surrey Fellow!
