Beelzebub has a devil for a sideboard

Misheard version of 'Beelzebub has a devil put aside for me', from Queen's Bohemian Rhapsody.

He's just a poor boy from a poor family

Spare him his life from these pork sausages

When I was small, if I was crying for no reason ( like kids do ) my Father used to say; " If you don't shut up, I'll give you something worth crying about ".

Thinking back, that was a fair comment; perhaps today's whingers should save it up for a time when they've got something to whinge about.........because that day WILL come.

Oh and "The Man who's never made a mistake.........has never made anything".

"Fool me once......shame on you........fool me twice.........shame on ME"

A clever person solves a problem. A wise person avoids it.

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@artful_dodgings wrote:

Rat with a gold tooth = Someone who tries to add class to themselves, by adding bling, and wearing showy label attire. (i.e. Chavs).

 

And on a similar theme...

 

Sit a beggar on horseback and he'll ride to the Devil = Said of a relatively poor person who suddenly becomes rich (by an inheritance / lottery win, etc)  and then adopts delusions of grandeur.

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OOh, never heard either of those - love them and will be using from now on!

The first example, my mum refers to as "all fur coat and no knickers"...

My personal favourite, though:

Love many,

Trust a few,

Learn to paddle

Your own canoe.

ie, spread your love widely amongst your friends, but be aware that truly trustworthy people are rare - and ultimately, the only person you can always count on being able to rely upon is yourself, so be resilient and self-sufficient.

He has no enemies but is intensely disliked by his friends.

Get someone's goat

To irritate someone; to annoy and arouse someone to anger. 

Battle of Egos
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

"A battle of egos is a phrase used metaphorically to describe competitions that are based on pride and often entail prodigious and arrogant demonstrations of prowess. A type of dueling similar to a peeing contest, ego battles are often seen as an arrogant way to determine who is the "bigger man" (as far as being superior/right in an argument) by a competitive methodology that is not especially productive. The idiom is usually used figuratively and often refer to forms of ego-driven battling in a pejorative manner."

1. The nicest thing about the future is that it always starts tomorrow.
2.. Money will buy a fine dog but only kindness will make him wag his tail.
3. If you don't have a sense of humour you probably don't have any sense at all.
4. Seat belts are not as confining as wheelchairs.
5. A good time to keep your mouth shut is when you're in deep water.
6. How come it takes so little time for a child who is afraid of the dark to become a teenager who wants to stay out all night?
7. Business conventions are important because they demonstrate how many people a company can operate without.
8. Why is it that at class reunions you feel younger than everyone else looks?
9. Stroke a cat and you will have a permanent job.
10. No one has more driving ambition than the teenage boy who wants to buy a car.
11. There are no new sins; the old ones just get more publicity.
12. There are worse things than getting a call for a wrong number at 4 a.m. - for example, it could be the right number.
13. No one ever says "It's only a game" when their team is winning.
14. I've reached the age where 'happy hour' is a nap.
15. Be careful about reading the fine print there's no way you're going to like it.
16. Do you realise that, in about 40 years, we'll have thousands of old ladies running around with tattoos?
17. Money can't buy happiness but somehow it's more comfortable to cry in a Rolls than in a Ford.
18. After 60, if you don't wake up aching in every joint, you're probably dead.
19. Always be yourself because the people that matter don't mind and the ones that mind don't matter.
20. Life isn't tied with a bow but it's still a gift.

And REMEMBER....

"POLITICIANS AND NAPPIES SHOULD BE CHANGED OFTEN AND FOR THE SAME REASON"

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@*.*..lola..*.* wrote:

Battle of Egos
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

"A battle of egos is a phrase used metaphorically to describe competitions that are based on pride and often entail prodigious and arrogant demonstrations of prowess. A type of dueling similar to a peeing contest, ego battles are often seen as an arrogant way to determine who is the "bigger man" (as far as being superior/right in an argument) by a competitive methodology that is not especially productive. The idiom is usually used figuratively and often refer to forms of ego-driven battling in a pejorative manner."

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Could almost be the RT's mission statement.

The greatest conflicts are not between two people but between one person and himself.

One from down under.

A Platypus is a duck designed by a committee.

And another.

A determined soul will do more with a rusty monkey wrench than a loafer will accomplish with all the tools in a machine shop.

" Ask not the Sparrow how the Eagle soars"

If you don't fail now and again, it's a sure sign you're playing it safe.