21 things to ponder over...

1. If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?

 

2. If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?

 

3. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?

 

4. If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?

 

5. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

 

6. Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

 

7. When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say?

 

8. Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but, a person who drives a racing car not called a racist?

 

9. Why are a wise man and a wise guy opposites?

 

10. Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things?

 

11. Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety one?

 

12. 'I am' is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that 'I do' is the longest sentence?

 

13. If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?

 

14. What hair colour do they put on the driver's license's of bald men?

 

15. I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?

 

16. Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to them? Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps, so the postmen can look for them while they deliver the mail?

 

17. You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.

 

18. No one ever says, 'It's only a game' when their team is winning.

 

19. Ever wonder about those people who spend £1.50 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backwards: NAIVE

 

20. Isn't making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?

 

21. If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhoea, does that mean that one in five enjoys it?

22. Why does eBay always ask you to sign in, when you already ARE signed in ?

Mister EMB






23. Why do people who are passionate about Foamers not realise that they are the subject of their own rant?

25/ why when we know fish don't have them are they called Fish Fingers?.




**********Sam**********

lol ....   Man Wink   I'll put in number 24 then saasher.

 

24. If tomato is a fruit;  why do we never see them in a fruit salad.

Oooops Sorry! Lol.

25/ why when you are screaming in pain after knocking your elbow, did some bright spark name it the funny bone!






**********Sam**********

lol again.. saasher.... that was 26.  Man Wink

 

next is 27.

lol. Oh dear & I'm not even blonde.lol.




**********Sam**********

27. Why do some people think that soaps are real life documentaries, when many of the characters return (again), but this time wearing a head transplant ?

Mister EMB






28/ why do we say Good Morning when it's clearly NOT !




**********Sam**********

Why do we call a complete stranger a mate when in a confrontational situation - "Watch it mate - say that again and I'll give you a smack in the mouth!"

30. God, according to some, created the earth in 6, or 7days (if you count the sabbath) but how can that be, when the sun was not made on the first day, and time revolves around the Sun.

31/ why when we meet someone we haven't seen for ages we always say" you look well" when we actually mean " Gawd! You don't half look rough!!" LOL.




**********Sam**********

32.  Why is it a Bank  will only lend you money, as long as you can prove that you don’t need it? 

33/ why is it that vegetarian ready meals are made to look like meat?.




**********Sam**********

34/ why is it & I include myself in this , we start off by saying " with Respect" that's not actually what you mean? lol.




**********Sam**********

Why was Adam and Eve the only people in the world to have a talking snake.

......................................................................................................................................................................................................... .................Im a 76 year old Nutcase.. TOMMY LOVES YOU ALL. .. I'm a committed atheist.

36.  Why is it that the older you get, the better you realise you were?

37/ why do you have a best man at a wedding, surely you'd be better off marrying him?




**********Sam**********

38.  Why is it that no one is listening until you make a mistake?