IMHO (H = Humble) the safest way to do it is to let the kids, 12 - 16, join a Social Networking site but their application form thingymyjig has to be signed off by a parent or guardian. The parent or guardian then has full access to anything that the kid writes or receives. That way, if the parent is at all bothered what their kids get up to (some just don't care as long as they (the parents) get to watch Jeremy Kyle or Britain's got talent in peace) then they can block, delete and report any unsavoury looking posters.
It's not foolproof because any perv could sign up and then claim to be the parent but if they start acting like a paedo and get blocked and reported a few times they can get their membership revoked and, as I understand it, Facebook would be able to block any fresh applications from that computer, house or the special numbers that the ISP has that relate to that member.
Not perfect but what is?
And just in case you are wondering why I have such a downer on Facebook, my grand daughter, then aged 13, was a regular chatter to a boy, also alleged to be 13. One day, as if by magic, the boy and his parents were arriving in Ringwood by coach and "wouldn't it be great if they could chat over a drink while his parents had a coffee." She said that was a good idea and they arranged a time when the coach would arrive in town. Luckily, she told her dad, who just happens to be an exponent of Muay Thai boxing, about going to meet this boy that she had been chatting to for about 3 months and he decided to go along because he had heard lots of stories about this kind of thing going wrong. She moaned that it would be embarrassing to have her dad at the meet so he said that he would be near the meeting place and if a young kid and his mum and dad turned up he would just watch from a distance and then fade away.
What actually happened was that a bloke turned up at the coach stop and came up to my grand daughter ( they had exchanged photos) and said that his son had been unable to come on the trip because he was ill and that his mother had stayed to look after him. My son was watching all this but he was to far away to hear what was being said. The bloke and my grand daughter headed for a nearby coffee house and my son followed staying a discrete distance away. To cut a long story short, after about 5 minutes, she stood up and threw her glass of coke at the guy. My son, bright guy, figured out that something was wrong and moved closer. They never told me exactly why she threw the coke at him except to say that he had suggested something rude. Anyway, my boy grabbed the bloke and took him outside and gave him a gentle talking to about the errors of his ways, using both fists and both elbows before dragging him to the local Bobby's house.
After explaining why he had brought the guy in the Bobby asked why is he all battered and bruised. "He fell down" was the reply. The guy was taken away for questioning and my boy and grand daughter were also asked to give statements about what had happened right from the very first time that contact had been made between the 2 "kids". And that was that. I heard from my son about 6 months later saying that the bloke was sent to prison for 3 months after pleading guilty in the case involving my grand daughter and with 3 more cases TIA, whatever that means.
So now you know why I have a downer on such websites and I urge parents everywhere to at least be aware of the people that your kids are chatting to. I know that 99.9% of chatting is safe and just a bit of fun. You just have to hope and pray that your kid doesn't fall foul of that 0.01% of people who use the sites for something other that "just a bit of fun."
