God works in mysterious ways

Twenty four hours in a day...............................twenty four bottles in a crate.

 

Does this prove the existance of God.  Smiley LOL

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crooksnanny ~ maz
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Re: God works in mysterious ways

Aging Aunt Mildred was a 93-year-old woman who was particularly despondent over the recent death of her husband. She decided that she would just kill herself and join him in death. Thinking that it would be best to get it over with quickly, she took out his old Army pistol and made the decision to shoot herself in the heart, since it was badly broken in the first place. Not wanting to miss the vital organ and become a vegetable and a burden to someone, she called her doctor's office to inquire as to just exactly where the heart would be on a woman. The doctor said, "Your heart would be just below your left breast". Later that night, Mildred was admitted to the hospital with a gunshot wound to her knee.
......................................................................................................................................................................................................... .................Im a 76 year old Nutcase.. TOMMY LOVES YOU ALL. .. I'm a committed atheist.
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Re: God works in mysterious ways

Smiley LOL

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Parents of young, organic life forms are warned that towels can be harmful if swallowed in large quantities.
Message 22 of 28
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Re: God works in mysterious ways

 Andres Celsius originally had water boiling at 0°C and freezing at 100°C

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Re: God works in mysterious ways

ROTF!

 

Brilliant.  Many years ago driving through Brixton shortly after the Brixton riots, virtually every window was boarded up.  Looking round at the desolation, there was a church notice bearing a brilliant bit of unintentional humour.  It was advertising a religious film: 

 

Now showing:  "All this, and Heaven, too!"

 

You could say it went down a riot.

Message 24 of 28
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Re: God works in mysterious ways

There are some hilarious church billboards, some intentially but some not.

 

church sign 02.jpg

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Parents of young, organic life forms are warned that towels can be harmful if swallowed in large quantities.
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Re: God works in mysterious ways

😀




**********Sam**********
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Re: God works in mysterious ways


@bankhaunter wrote:

There are some hilarious church billboards, some intentially but some not.

 

church sign 02.jpg


lol xx

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such anger,prejudice and hypocrisy on a simple forum supposed to be free for all. I wish you all you all wish for xx good bye
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Re: God works in mysterious ways

After 21 years of marriage, my wife wanted me to take another woman out to dinner and a movie. She said I love you but I know this other woman loves you and would love to spend sometime with you. The other woman that my wife wanted me to visit was my MOTHER, who has been a widow for 19 years, but the demands of my work and my three children had made it possible to visit her only occasionally. That night I called to invite her to go out for dinner and a movie. "What's wrong, are you well," she asked? "I thought that it would be pleasant to be with you," I responded. "Just the two of us." She thought about it for a moment, and then said, "I would like that very much." That Friday after work, as I drove over to pick her up I was a bit nervous. When I arrived at her house, I noticed that she, too, seemed to be nervous about our date. She waited in the door with her coat on. She had curled her hair and was wearing the dress that she had worn to celebrate her last wedding anniversary. She smiled from a face that was as radiant as an angel's. "I told my friends that I was going to go out with my son, and they were impressed, "she said, as she got into the car. They can't wait to hear about our meeting". We went to a restaurant that, although not elegant, was very nice and cozy. My mother took my arm as if she were the First Lady. After we sat down, I had to read the menu. Half way through the entries, I lifted my eyes and saw Mom sitting there staring at me. A nostalgic smile was on her lips "It was I who used to have to read the menu when you were small," she said. "Then it's time that you relax and let me return the favor," I responded. During the dinner, we had an agreeable conversation - nothing extraordinary, but catching up on recent events of each other's life. We talked so much that we missed the movie. As we arrived at her house later, she said, "I'll go out with you again, but only if you let me invite you." I agreed. "How was your dinner date?" asked my wife when I got home. "Very nice. Much more so than I could have imagined," I answered. A few days later, my mother died. It happened so suddenly that I did not get to do anything for her. Some time later, I received an envelope with a copy of a restaurant receipt from the same place where mother and I had dined. An attached note said:"I paid this bill in advance. I wasn't sure that I could be there; but nevertheless, I paid for two plates - one for you and the other for your wife. You will never know what that night meant for me. I love you, son." At that moment, I understood the importance of saying in time: "I LOVE YOU!" and to give our loved ones the time that they deserve. Nothing in life is more important than your family. Give them the time they deserve, because these things cannot be put off till "some other time."
......................................................................................................................................................................................................... .................Im a 76 year old Nutcase.. TOMMY LOVES YOU ALL. .. I'm a committed atheist.
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