Bill & Charlie's Bar

[bill-xxx]

Hello to all our old friends and newcomers alike. Welcome to Bill & Charlie's Bar - the place to meet other posters and to sit and chat while you sample your favourite tipple. Plenty to drink, lots of joking but alas no smoking.

We are open all hours (hic) and run a respectable Bar. (Although I argued with Charlie until I was blue in the face over that one!) No swearing, spitting or drun..drunk...drunken beeeehaviour (hic). We have a couple of bouncers to hand ~ she comes in on Friday nights.

Teetotallers are welcome and will be treated as normal. I jest ~ soft drinks are available at the bar along with light snacks. And finally, please use the emergency exit when Bill rambles on about the good ol' days and put plugs in your ears when Charlie 'sings'.

Come on in...:-D

[bill-xxx]

Good morning, Tommy...:-D

Yes, it is I...

One whisky...

[tommy.irene]

Thanks Bill... plenty of Drunks in the lounge doorway..

[bill-xxx]

A waiter asks a man, 'May I take your order, sir?'

'Yes,' the man replies.'I'm just wondering, exactly how do you prepare your chickens?'

'Nothing special, sir. We just tell them straight that they're going to die.' 😮

[tommy.irene]

A guy runs into the bar and says, "Quick, pour me 5 shots of your best scotch." The bartender pours them and the man drinks them as fast as he can. "Wow that's the fastest I've seen anyone drink," says the bartender. "Well you'd drink that fast if you had what I had," The man says "Oh my god," the bartender says, "What do you have?" The man replies "50 cents."

[bill-xxx]

I phoned the local gym and I asked if they could teach me how to do the splits.

He said, 'How flexible are you?'

I said, 'I can't make Tuesdays or Thursdays.'

[tommy.irene]

Father Murphy walked into a pub in Donegal, and said to the first man he meets, "Do you want to go to heaven?"The man said, "I do Father."The priest said, "Then leave this pub right now!" and approached a second man. "Do you want to got to heaven?""Certainly, Father," was the man's reply."Then leave this den of Satan," said the priest, as he walked up to O'Toole."Do you want to go to heaven?""No, I don't Father," O'Toole replied.The priest looked him right in the eye, and said, "You mean to tell me that when you die you don't want to go to heaven?"O'Toole smiled, "Oh, when I die, yes, Father. I thought you were getting a group together to go right now...;-)

[tommy.irene]

There has been no one in since 11am they all went to the Derby....

[bill-xxx]

Have one on the house, Tommy 🙂

[Anonymous]

Good evening guys. :-x

[bill-xxx]

Evening Harry :-x

Can I get you anythIng ?

[Anonymous]

Hi Bill. :-x

The usual Black coffee will do. 🙂

I'll have to rinse my daughter's hair out in a minute, so don't make it yet....I like it hot. B-)

[bill-xxx]

Hi Bill. :-x

The usual Black coffee will do. 🙂

I'll have to rinse my daughter's hair out in a minute, so don't make it yet....I like it hot. B-)

Nearly poured you one there, Harry. Okay I'll hang on.

*bungs it in microwave* 😐

[tommy.irene]

Bill..Get ready for the rush, B.G.T is near over..

[Anonymous]

In the microwave???? :_|

[bill-xxx]

:^O

Just kidding, Harry...

Here's a fresh one

[Anonymous]

Lovely Bill. :-x

I needed it. Another busy day bits the dust. 🙂

[Anonymous]

Bits??? :_|

[bill-xxx]

Lovely Bill. :-x

I needed it. Another busy day bits the dust. 🙂

Glad it went down well, Harry 🙂

Absolutely luuurve the typo! :^O

[tommy.irene]

Another whisky please..

[tommy.irene]

Snipe 2100...