Buyer hasn’t returned the item I refunded immediately

[juicyjuicy321]

I sold a scarf, posted it immediately to the buyer, she then said it’s a fake - which it isn’t, I don’t have proof of purchase I was gifted it (don’t like it). So didn’t quibble it’s her prerogative and as I don’t understand eBay fully it’s over complicated (I have mild autism), I refunded her immediately in full - because that was the right thing to do and then she never posted it back. After two weeks I contacted her asking why she hadn’t returned it and she said she was waiting for a return label but the return was complete (financially), I don’t know I had to to generate a return label I thought that happened automatically. I contacted eBay they sent her a return label. This Sunday gone (this is over a month passed by now since the sale), i sent her message asking where my scarf was. She said she posted it on Saturday and still it hasn’t arrived. So I messaged again asking her which post she used (after receiving a message from eBay saying that this has been removed for counterfeit policy).  I’m furious naturally bcz she still has this expensive scarf and I refunded her and now she’s literally stolen it because she has refused to rerun it to me. So eBay is allowing theft.. this is crazy. I want my scarf returned or I want paying for it. How do I resolve this please? 

[*guinevere*]

Sorry but I doubt if you'll get your scarf back now.

What you should have done was ask your buyer to open an ebay return citing not as described, you would then have accepted the return and sent a label and refunded on return,

You never refund until you have received the item back.

Now that you have refunded your buyer has no incentive to return the scarf. and ebay won't help because as far as they are concerned the case is closed.

When you refunded without return they would have told your buyer to keep the scarf as you don't want it back.