topic Cameron secures deal from the EU in The Round Table

Cameron secures deal from the EU

joe_bloggs* — Sat, 06 Feb 2016 20:40:37 GMT

David Cameron's E.U. talks secured even more benefits for Britain than previously realised, after the Prime Minister revealed the extra concession he gained after hours of tough negotiations.

‘I have in my hand a box of chocolates,’ proclaimed a triumphant PM. ‘It is a full and total settlement of all my demands for EU reform.

I asked for a total return to British judicial and fiscal autonomy as well as the right to slay one in five asylum seekers for four years before paying any benefits. But this 250 gram box of Terry’s All Gold, given to me at Brussels airport gift shop by Mr Jonkers goes well beyond those demands, even taking into account the nutty ones.’

Europhile Duty Free Minister Ken Clarke hailed the chocolates as symbols of total triumph. ‘I have in my hand a piece of silver paper, formerly the wrapper of a strawberry delight graciously handed to me by the Prime Minister which I have now officially eaten. ‘These chocolates outweigh the benefit of any treaty change or judicial realignment. ‘

Even Theresa May said she could be ‘persuaded’ by the chocolates, asking photographers to bear with her while she wiped away traces of Mr Cameron’s Vanilla Creme from her mouth. ‘I have in my hand a piece of tissue paper,’

Mrs May told a press conference. ‘As soon as I have finished with it I will phone my husband and tell him Dave’s going to back me for the next PM if I swallow all this we-got-what-we-want-from-the-EU nonsense.’

EU VIce President Kurt Schmidt also hailed the deal, telling reporters: ‘Terry’s All Gold were on BOGOF at Brussels airport, which many will see as appropriate.’

http://www.newsbiscuit.com/2016/02/05/cameron-secures-box-of-chocolates-from-eu/

Re: Cameron secures deal from the EU

angelah1847 — Sat, 06 Feb 2016 20:49:44 GMT

No way would I accept a box of Terrys All Gold even if they were on BOGOF.

Some of Belgium's finest maybe or perhaps Swiss chocolat, but Terrys All Gold for goodness sake,

what a swizz

Re: Cameron secures deal from the EU

astrologica — Sat, 06 Feb 2016 22:53:07 GMT

And there's not much delight from Turkey at the moment.😧

Re: Cameron secures deal from the EU

angelah1847 — Sat, 06 Feb 2016 23:02:00 GMT

Re: Cameron secures deal from the EU

al**bear — Sun, 07 Feb 2016 06:00:47 GMT

A gift of Terrys, a once excellent British Chocolate company now owned by a load of American plastic cheese makers

Privately Mr Jonkers said "I gave him a gift that shows the future for the UK outside the EU, once great Companies sold and r*ped by US & World big business. Everything British about them discarded, but the name"

Come to think about it, thats what Cameron has been allowing to happen to our Companies & services since he took up residence in Number 10