topic Re: Is It Ever OK To Shout At Someone Else's Child? in The Round Table

Is It Ever OK To Shout At Someone Else's Child?

lambsy_uk — Wed, 22 Jul 2015 16:22:07 GMT

I heard this question asked on the radio today in the wake of an incident in a restaurant in USA where a cafe owner shouted at a child after the parents had failed to keep them quiet.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3168500/Diner-owner-defends-yelling-2-year-old-stop-crying.html

I have shouted at a child on at least one occasion, other times I have at least spoken to them sternly telling then to decist from doing something.

The time I shouted at a child was about 2 years ago when I was in an outdoor play area with my girls. A young boy of about 4 or 5 years old was throwing handfuls of gravel around and much of it was hitting other children. I told him in forthright manner to pack it in and so he did, for a while. A boy of about 10 who had been taking a peppering while sitting on a ride thanked me. However a minute or two later the boy started to throw gravel again with me not far away and so I shouted "I SAID PACK IT IN", at which he ran off with his tail between his legs.

I was half expecting to be confronted by a parent or two but it didn't happen.

So what's your opinion on chastising other people's children?

Re: Is It Ever OK To Shout At Someone Else's Child?

astrologica — Wed, 22 Jul 2015 16:51:06 GMT

I have chastised other children in the past for bad behaviour. I tend not to shout...it's usually not needed. I do a very good black look, which is normally sufficient. I heard one child say after a telling off...' Bet SHE doesn't need a toaster...she only needs to breathe on the bread'....! I have no problem telling other people's brats off if their parents don't do it.

Re: Is It Ever OK To Shout At Someone Else's Child?

cee-dee — Wed, 22 Jul 2015 18:17:01 GMT

You did the right thing.

Shouting at such a brat is fine so long as there's no bad language or abuse.

That child will probably go on to be a bully (if he isn't already) but if another child retaliates, he'll go off screaming blue murder.

Re: Is It Ever OK To Shout At Someone Else's Child?

jd.linklater — Wed, 22 Jul 2015 18:21:20 GMT

Wow! astro you sound really scary.

I won't waste energy shouting at them either, I find a growl works better than a scowl.

Re: Is It Ever OK To Shout At Someone Else's Child?

0125arwen — Wed, 22 Jul 2015 18:21:48 GMT

No, it is not.

Re: Is It Ever OK To Shout At Someone Else's Child?

fallen-archie — Wed, 22 Jul 2015 18:28:11 GMT

It is not right to shout or discipline other peoples children.

It is equally wrong that so many parents ignore their children.

When my kids were young I took responsibility for their behaviour It really naffs me off when I see kids running riot while the parents have a fag or something similarly intelectual.

Re: Is It Ever OK To Shout At Someone Else's Child?

cee-dee — Wed, 22 Jul 2015 19:55:59 GMT

"My little girl was in the playground and there was this horrible boy throwing stones at all the kids. There was a man standing watching but he never said a thing, he just watched.

The boy threw a stone and hit my little girl in the eye and now she's blind in that eye. It's that man's fault for not saying anything to the boy to get him to stop."

Re: Is It Ever OK To Shout At Someone Else's Child?

astrologica — Wed, 22 Jul 2015 20:05:48 GMT

Thanks J.D.!....I am a Welsh Dragon.

Re: Is It Ever OK To Shout At Someone Else's Child?

lambsy_uk — Wed, 22 Jul 2015 21:26:05 GMT

@fallen-archie wrote:
It is not right to shout or discipline other peoples children.

It is equally wrong that so many parents ignore their children.

So if the parents fail to set them straight is it right that they should go uncecked, undisciplined?

Re: Is It Ever OK To Shout At Someone Else's Child?

******lynda****** — Wed, 22 Jul 2015 22:11:35 GMT

And if the parents are not present? We have shouted across the field to brats who were setting fires. They had 5 fires on the go at the time and were lighting more. They seem to have got bored with setting the opposite hills alight in summer - makes for a dramatic show. I wish I could post the pictures of the Flames higher than the trees...and moved to our fields. On half a dozen days so far this (rainy) year we have had fire raisers. The fire brigade have reported activity elsewhere. They turn up to put out hill fires, if they can get access. The kids responsible watch for a while then move on to set fires further along, keeping the firefighters busy.
There could be road accidents or homes on fire elsewhere, while the firefighters are dealing with this arson, which can threaten homes but would delay an emergency response elsewhere.
Darn right I shout at them.
I have also shouted at toerags that went along a street pulling off car aerials, keying the paintwork and nicking wheel valve covers. Try calling the police...they take an hour to arrive, by which time the kids have long gone.

Re: Is It Ever OK To Shout At Someone Else's Child?

Anonymous — Thu, 23 Jul 2015 08:22:03 GMT

Telling a kid off when it does something destructive, dangerous or nasty, when the parents aren't around to do so, is perfectly fine in my book. I have done it myself. I think it's all part of a child's upbringing.

If the parents can't be bothered and society isn't allowed to correct it.....then we are back at that "underclass" we were discussing.

Re: Is It Ever OK To Shout At Someone Else's Child?

joamur_gosof — Thu, 23 Jul 2015 15:57:57 GMT

That underclass harry ? which one ..? do you mean the people who don't care about others and bring their kids up the same because they are called amongst other things louts and don't belong to a class because a class is a made up name to class people into groups for schooling. Anyone would think using the word underclass as a euphemism for worse off citizens. and upperclass for better off ones would be snobbery.

Re: Is It Ever OK To Shout At Someone Else's Child?

joamur_gosof — Thu, 23 Jul 2015 16:00:56 GMT

ps..of course its alright to shout at anyone acting like a lout 🙂

Re: Is It Ever OK To Shout At Someone Else's Child?

malacandran — Thu, 23 Jul 2015 16:25:12 GMT

@cee-dee wrote:
"My little girl was in the playground and there was this horrible boy throwing stones at all the kids. There was a man standing watching but he never said a thing, he just watched.

The boy threw a stone and hit my little girl in the eye and now she's blind in that eye. It's that man's fault for not saying anything to the boy to get him to stop."

What could the man have done? Even by merely watching the children, he was under suspicion as a potential paedophile.

Suppose he'd actually approached the boy, and spoken to him. Or physically tried to restrain the child from throwing stones. Then the man would very likely have ended up getting arrested by the Police.

So of course the man didn't take any action. He was understandably afraid to do so.

Re: Is It Ever OK To Shout At Someone Else's Child?

joamur_gosof — Thu, 23 Jul 2015 17:34:16 GMT

what was a suspected peado doing in a kids playground springs to mind

Re: Is It Ever OK To Shout At Someone Else's Child?

fallen-archie — Thu, 23 Jul 2015 17:56:20 GMT

Of course it's not right and I admit to having corrected miscreants when they have made a nuisance of themselves. In most cases though it is the parents who are at fault but they see it differently.

Re: Is It Ever OK To Shout At Someone Else's Child?

joamur_gosof — Thu, 23 Jul 2015 18:04:31 GMT

have you evidence that in most cases the parents are the reason their children misbehave or is it your assumption ?

Re: Is It Ever OK To Shout At Someone Else's Child?

fallen-archie — Thu, 23 Jul 2015 19:04:25 GMT

I have no scientific evidence, such a study would doubtless be very expensive. As a parent with grown up children I can only comment on personal experience. I remember my first visit to Nandos, Weekday lunchtime and behind were three mothers with a batallion of young children. The floor under and around the table was strewn with chips and fizzy drink. The women were probably in their late teens and were chatting happily away but completely ignoring the children. Two kids ventured towards the table i was sat at and decided to join us, The women were aware and clearly awaiting a reaction from me. I chose to ignore them but they persisted until one of the three women bellowed at the children who reluctantly went back to the chaos around their own table. It wasn't long before they reappeared again and again until eventually they left. It took four staff ages to clean up and make good. That is but one story and there are many more. Sometimes the parents are so besotted with their offspring they believe everyone will share their adoration Sorry but not everyone does in fact I wish the brats would naff off and allow me to relax free from the fear of being labelled a predatory pervert because these days it is easy to aquire a label.

Re: Is It Ever OK To Shout At Someone Else's Child?

dark_castle1 — Thu, 23 Jul 2015 20:58:31 GMT

Yes it is right to shout at someone elses child, I have done and would not hesitate to do so again.

Re: Is It Ever OK To Shout At Someone Else's Child?

lambsy_uk — Thu, 23 Jul 2015 21:05:42 GMT

@malacandran wrote:
@cee-dee wrote:
"My little girl was in the playground and there was this horrible boy throwing stones at all the kids. There was a man standing watching but he never said a thing, he just watched.

The boy threw a stone and hit my little girl in the eye and now she's blind in that eye. It's that man's fault for not saying anything to the boy to get him to stop."
What could the man have done? Even by merely watching the children, he was under suspicion as a potential paedophile.

Suppose he'd actually approached the boy, and spoken to him. Or physically tried to restrain the child from throwing stones. Then the man would very likely have ended up getting arrested by the Police.

So of course the man didn't take any action. He was understandably afraid to do so.

The right thing to do is not always the easy thing!

I don't actually believe that people in general spend much time being overly suspicious of others!