topic Re: Hands Up, Who wants a Job at eBay?! in The Round Table

Hands Up, Who wants a Job at eBay?!

inajiffyuk — Tue, 29 Apr 2014 03:12:07 GMT

Don't all rush now!

Not quite sure about the role of Scrum Master!

http://www.linkedin.com/job/c-ebay-jobs?_mSplash=1

Re: Hands Up, Who wants a Job at eBay?!

hicburp — Tue, 29 Apr 2014 08:02:21 GMT

Looks like there are gearing up for the next major overhaul.

Which will most likely be when the majority of the small sellers

have been cleared out In August.

Re: Hands Up, Who wants a Job at eBay?!

Anonymous — Tue, 29 Apr 2014 08:59:59 GMT

Don't you just love job titles and descriptions full of nonsense, made up words and phrases that you never encounter outside of offices?

Those job titles/descriptions - they are in English ............... aren't they?!

Re: Hands Up, Who wants a Job at eBay?!

**caution**opinion_ahead — Tue, 29 Apr 2014 09:07:01 GMT

Is "programmatic" an actual word?

Re: Hands Up, Who wants a Job at eBay?!

Anonymous — Tue, 29 Apr 2014 09:19:05 GMT

"Is "programmatic" an actual word?"

I just googled it !

They say it is, but when did you ever hear it outside of these ads?

One of the job descriptions wants someone "evangelistic" about Ebay/Paypal!!

I wonder if the people who write this nonsense have their sleeves rolled up and wear red braces?!

Re: Hands Up, Who wants a Job at eBay?!

Anonymous — Tue, 29 Apr 2014 09:22:39 GMT

"eBay Enterprise, formerly known as GSI Commerce, is a leading provider of commerce technologies, omnichannel operations and marketing solutions. GSI Commerce has been driving and evolving the world of commerce since the early days of retailing on the web."

Actually, imo, Ebay haven't been "driving" anything, i'd say they've been desperately hanging on to the coat tails of internet selling, and only just managed to keep up!

Now they want to take credit for simply being in the right place at the right time!

Re: Hands Up, Who wants a Job at eBay?!

aernethril — Tue, 29 Apr 2014 10:09:56 GMT

If you look at 'more' - What we offer? - apparently it's mostly ummmmmmmmmmm b***.

Re: Hands Up, Who wants a Job at eBay?!

wentvaleelect — Tue, 29 Apr 2014 10:32:24 GMT

Only numptys need apply

Re: Hands Up, Who wants a Job at eBay?!

Anonymous — Tue, 29 Apr 2014 10:38:54 GMT

Tbh, i'd say that those ads show everything that's wrong with Ebay.

There have been recent posts about how Ebay is out of touch, uncaring, no customer service to speak of - those ads show the Ebay mindset, needlessly complicated, over worded, full of meaningless jargon - quite pathetic really!

Re: Hands Up, Who wants a Job at eBay?!

tall.dude — Tue, 29 Apr 2014 11:12:49 GMT

Hands Up, Who wants a Job at eBay?!

Judging by the number of threads you post you're either after Alan's job or a job in marketing

Re: Hands Up, Who wants a Job at eBay?!

grandad-dave — Tue, 29 Apr 2014 11:18:16 GMT

@inajiffyuk wrote:
Don't all rush now!

Not quite sure about the role of Scrum Master!

http://www.linkedin.com/job/c-ebay-jobs?_mSplash=1

Something to do with Rugby perhaps.. Maybe a bar tender dishing out pints of "scrum(py):smileyvery-happy:

Re: Hands Up, Who wants a Job at eBay?!

Anonymous — Tue, 29 Apr 2014 11:33:53 GMT

@inajiffyuk wrote:

Not quite sure about the role of Scrum Master!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scrum_(software_development)#Scrum_Master

Re: Hands Up, Who wants a Job at eBay?!

temperate_porcine — Tue, 29 Apr 2014 11:40:56 GMT

@brookheather wrote:
@inajiffyuk wrote:

Not quite sure about the role of Scrum Master!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scrum_(software_development)#Scrum_Master

OK, I read that article and I have absolutely no idea what a Scrum Master actually does.

It's all too complicated for me, I guess I won't be applying for a job at eBay unless they have a position for the bloke who empties the office bins.

Re: Hands Up, Who wants a Job at eBay?!

Anonymous — Tue, 29 Apr 2014 11:44:32 GMT

@temperate_porcine wrote:
@brookheather wrote:
@inajiffyuk wrote:

Not quite sure about the role of Scrum Master!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scrum_(software_development)#Scrum_Master

OK, I read that article and I have absolutely no idea what a Scrum Master actually does.
It's all too complicated for me, I guess I won't be applying for a job at eBay unless they have a position for the bloke who empties the office bins.

It's a bit like a team leader except their role is to resolve any issues for the team so they can be as efficient as possible so if Fred says he can't work on X because he is waiting for Joe to finish Y then the Scrum Master would try to remove the block or re-order the work so Fred can work on something else (in simple terms).

Re: Hands Up, Who wants a Job at eBay?!

temperate_porcine — Tue, 29 Apr 2014 11:48:46 GMT

@brookheather wrote:
It's a bit like a team leader except their role is to resolve any issues for the team so they can be as efficient as possible so if Fred says he can't work on X because he is waiting for Joe to finish Y then the Scrum Master would try to remove the block or re-order the work so Fred can work on something else (in simple terms).

OK, I get that...but why couldn't Fred and Joe just work something out between them, are they thick or something?

Re: Hands Up, Who wants a Job at eBay?!

52t-bird — Tue, 29 Apr 2014 11:51:34 GMT

So its a BS name for a manager then??

Re: Hands Up, Who wants a Job at eBay?!

julie19090_0 — Tue, 29 Apr 2014 11:52:38 GMT

I want to be an "Information Extraction Engineer". Sounds as if my degree in torture could finally be put to good use.

Re: Hands Up, Who wants a Job at eBay?!

babylons*burning — Tue, 29 Apr 2014 12:08:54 GMT

I'd fancy that one myself but I'm clearly under qualified with only a GNVQ level 2 in waterboarding.

Re: Hands Up, Who wants a Job at eBay?!

temperate_porcine — Tue, 29 Apr 2014 12:09:28 GMT

Daily timeboxed Scrum meeting:

During the meeting, each team member answers three questions:

SM: "What have you done since yesterday?"
Fred: "I mostly played football in the car park and chatted up the receptionist because I'm waiting for Joe to finish project X
SM: "What are you planning to do today?"
Fred: "Probably the same, I reckon I'm in with a chance of pulling that receptionist"
Any impediments/stumbling blocks? Any impediment/stumbling block identified in this meeting is documented by the Scrum Master and worked towards resolution outside of this meeting. No detailed discussions shall happen in this meeting.
SM: "Fred, chatting up the receptionist is not part of your remit, pull your finger out and go empty the office bins or something"
Fred: "I don't have the relevant training qualification for that task"
SM: "Fred, you can spend the day on CS duty"
Fred: "Noooooooooooooo!"

Re: Hands Up, Who wants a Job at eBay?!

temperate_porcine — Tue, 29 Apr 2014 12:11:52 GMT

We could do with a 'make sure the flippin' formatting on seller cental behaves itself' strategic programmatic manager.