Did you read the BOOK

tommy.irene — Tue, 07 Jan 2014 17:20:06 GMT

I dont know if any of you have read this book, if you haven’t, the following might give you an idea of what it is all about.

The novel "Fifty Shades Of Grey" has seduced women - and baffled blokes.
Now a spoof, Fifty Sheds Of Grey, offers a treat for the men. The book has author Colin Grey recounting his love encounters at the bottom of the garden. Here are some extracts...

Fifty Sheds Of Grey

We tried various positions - round the back, on the side, up against a
wall...
but in the end we came to the conclusion the bottom of the garden was the only place for a good shed.

She stood before me, trembling in my shed.
"I'm yours for the night," she gasped, "You can do whatever you want with me."
So I took her to McDonalds.

She knelt before me on the shed floor and tugged gently at first, then
harder until finally it came.
I moaned with pleasure. Now for the other boot.

Ever since she read THAT book, I've had to buy all kinds of ropes, chains and shackles.
She still manages to get into the shed, though.

"Put on this rubber suit and mask," I instructed, calmly.
"Mmmm, kinky!" she purred.
"Yes," I said, "You can't be too careful with all that asbestos in the shed roof."

"I'm a very naughty girl," she said, biting her lip. "I need to be
punished."
So I invited my mum to stay for the weekend.

"Harder!" she cried, gripping the shed workbench tightly. "Harder!"
"Okay," I said. "What's the gross national product of Nicaragua?"

I lay back exhausted, gazing happily out of the shed window.
Despite my concerns about my inexperience, my rhubarb had come up a treat.

"Are you sure you can take the pain?" she demanded, brandishing stilettos.
"I think so," I gulped. "Here we go, then," she said, and showed me the receipt.

"Hurt me!" she begged, raising her skirt as she bent over my workbench.
"Very well," I replied. "You've got fat ankles and no dress sense."

"Are you sure you want this?" I asked. "When I'm done, you won't be able to sit down for weeks."
She nodded.
"Okay," I said, putting the three-piece suite on eBay.

"Punish me!" she cried. "Make me suffer like only a real man can!"
"Very well," I replied, leaving the toilet seat up.

Re: Did you read the BOOK

ed_blackadder_1 — Tue, 07 Jan 2014 17:26:18 GMT

I love it, that was really funny Tommy, nice one.

Re: Did you read the BOOK

electric*mayhem*band — Tue, 07 Jan 2014 18:00:26 GMT

Encore, encore...

Re: Did you read the BOOK

Anonymous — Wed, 08 Jan 2014 02:08:18 GMT

Re: Did you read the BOOK

rose2008-2008 — Wed, 08 Jan 2014 12:29:52 GMT

LOL

Re: Did you read the BOOK

tommy.irene — Wed, 08 Jan 2014 13:42:54 GMT

Re: Did you read the BOOK

saasher2012 — Wed, 08 Jan 2014 13:54:47 GMT

Whoa! That's not how I imagined Mr Grey, not that I've read it you understand !! LOL.

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