topic Re: advice please in The Round Table

advice please

tammypike7032013 — Wed, 16 Oct 2013 09:51:00 GMT

I lost my two darling dogs a few months ago just weeks apart (both passed away) I was devistated and so was my adult daughter who lives with me, she is away on holiday at the moment and is due back on Friday, before she left, she saw I was looking at puppies for sale and got excited at the thought of a new puppy in our home and asked if i was getting one, I told her possibly, and she asked me not to tell her while she was away as it would be a nice surprise for when she returned home.

I have since purchased 2 adorable puppies and have been settling them both in, I have been so excited for her to come home as I cannot wait for her to see them, she is going to absolutely love them.

Sadly, while she's been away, her great aunty who she loved dearly has passed away suddenly, I have not told her this awful news yet as I didn't want to ruin the remainder of her holiday (she will be home in time for the funeral which is next Monday)

I am torn about what to do first when she comes home, do I tell her about her aunty first or introduce her to the the puppys?

Part of me wants to intoduce the puppys first just to let her have those lovely first happy moments with them, but part of me thinks this would be wrong as the news of her aunty dying is more important, I just don't know what to do, the puppies are quite vocal so even if I put them upstairs out of the way shes probably going to hear them anyway, its not possible to send the puppies somewhere else while I break the bad news to her, please help, what would you do?

Thanks

Re: advice please

cee-dee — Wed, 16 Oct 2013 09:55:08 GMT

Introduce her to the puppies.

Re: advice please

right-then-petal — Wed, 16 Oct 2013 10:16:18 GMT

hmm really hard one that 50/50 either way

but as a thought how about nameing one after fave Aunty

Re: advice please

ed_blackadder_1 — Wed, 16 Oct 2013 10:15:52 GMT

I agree introduce her to the puppies and then tell her, that way the puppies would be a comfort to her hopefully,

Re: advice please

rose2008-2008 — Wed, 16 Oct 2013 10:41:30 GMT

I do agree about introducing i think it would be very comforting. Awwww.

Re: advice please

blackburn_stevie — Wed, 16 Oct 2013 11:22:45 GMT

IMHO it would be a bad move to name one of the pups after the great aunt. A much better idea would be to give your daughter the option. What I mean is that she may not want to be reminded of the great aunt whenever she sees the pup.

As for which news comes first. I think it would be a good idea to move the pups in with a neighbour (do you get on OK with them?) while you break the bad news.

But then I'm a bloke. What do I know about emotions?

Re: advice please

ilove2patch — Wed, 16 Oct 2013 12:18:22 GMT

Let the puppies greet her when she gets home. make a cup of tea, sit down & break the sad news. The pups will be a distraction & lessen the blow a bit.

Re: advice please

lhasa.two — Wed, 16 Oct 2013 12:27:00 GMT

Agree with patch.

Let her meet the dogs first, plenty of time to tell her about her aunty afterwards when all the initial excitement has settled down.

Re: advice please

tintinthegingertomcat — Wed, 16 Oct 2013 15:56:03 GMT

I would definitely let her meet the puppies first before telling her about the death. Dogs are supposed to help us humans become less stressed out so if she has a puppy to be stroking that should help her stress levels.

Re: advice please

the-geezer — Wed, 16 Oct 2013 16:09:43 GMT

The pups will be a little distracion and will feel her pain.

Re: advice please

millielilac — Wed, 16 Oct 2013 17:09:29 GMT

Just so sad.......

However from what you say it will not be a great surprise to your daughter to see the puppies .....from what you say she may even be expecting to see at least one puppy when she gets home.

You would probably not be greeting your daughter at the door with the bad news so it would be impossible to keep the puppies quiet anyway for the amount of time needed to break the news gently to her.

Its not as if you are making the news of secondary importance ....it is not .....its more like the puppies cannot be pushed away to one side or hidden ....that would be impossible. Their natural exuberance might help soften the blow .......

However you know your daughter best .....do whatever you think will be more appropriate for her...

Re: advice please

tammypike7032013 — Wed, 16 Oct 2013 21:31:23 GMT

Thank you so much for your thoughts everyone

Yes I'll introduce the puppies first

Re: advice please

ilove2patch — Wed, 16 Oct 2013 22:36:53 GMT

I hope it all goes well.